Reports of a Serial Dater: One Thing’s Missing | HuffPost Chicago

The other day I found myself standing up in-line at Starbucks and receiving my personal the necessary Monday morning caffeinated drinks fix, whenever a very handsome man, with a million dollar smile, helped me personally pick-up my personal charge card. I had dropped it while buying a tall slim vanilla latte. He was gorgeous. When their vision found mine, I was thinking my hips had been browsing buckle and I would drop smack dab into the muffin table. I thanked him and moved out of line to hold back for my personal early morning dependence on get ready. While I found myself waiting, he wandered over and introduced themselves. When Mr. Million Dollar Smile achieves down their hand to introduce himself, we see a lovely couple of cuff-links, my male style weakness, and a rather manly group of hands that gave a substantial handshake. I will be instantly putty in those manly arms. When my coffee purchase was called, he attained over and grabbed it, got down a pen, and typed his number quietly of my mug. Adorable, i understand. He flashed myself their gorgeous smile one final time, and without saying a word, handed me my coffee and was presented with.

I wait the required three days to call him (yeah, that is right fellas, I am able to have fun with the game also). Mr. Million money Smile and that I have actually a good dialogue where he suggested we get see resident Cope at home of Blues. I am more than excited. We came across at Southern liquid cauliflower tacos thug kitchen to seize an instant bite to consume before the show and a bottle of drink. By the time our very own food arrived, I happened to be a tad bit tipsy and already incredibly in love. I am in a hysterical story (this would not be surprising to anyone) when I looked to see him just take a bite off their hamburger plus in it, you can find his white teeth – those remarkable teeth that gave him that million buck laugh – caught…in his hamburger.

I attempted never to allow my surprise and terror program, but anyone who knows myself understands that my feelings are often authored all-around my face. The guy turned eight shades of reddish and made an effort to clarify how they got knocked-out in a fight. Just What? My personal Prince Charming is a thug in cuff-links? Apparently, at one-point inside the existence he was teaching for an Ultimate battling Championship together with 1st seven top teeth knocked out during a fight and today wears false teeth that practically video into their lips. Hmmm. Now, I don’t know about you, but nothing says sexy if you ask me like a person who is only 32 and has now artificial teeth. I immediately have visions of him investing the night time and going over to see their teeth seated in a cup of Efferdent Plus back at my nightstand. We gently scolded myself if you are therefore really shallow and swore to block the vision of him toothless from my personal head, and relish the rest of the evening with a smart, funny and smart guy.

We drop by our home of organization, got some beers on bar, and pushed our very own way up to the stage in which I found myself front and center with Citizen deal. Yum. We are having an amazing time, Citizen Cope was performing Sideways, and Mr. Million Dollar Smile leaned over, got my hand, and pulled me in for a soap opera worthwhile kiss. I immediately had visions of our beautiful young ones, the cottage design household in Naperville and what cars we’d drive since I won’t buy a mini-van, until i’m snapped back in real life together with the knowledge there was some thing inside my lips… and it is perhaps not my personal gum. I practically vomited throughout the floor, immediately in front of Clarence Greenwood (top honors artist of Citizen Cope and a big hottie) while I recognized that that which was during my throat had been their teeth. We shit you perhaps not. The next few times occurred in slow-motion. He looked right up at myself, smiled this toothless smile, and began to state anything about me personally having his teeth, and that I reflexively freaked-out and wanted those teeth of my personal damn throat today, so I spit all of them away so fast you’d have thought these were poison. Bad action, Gena. The second twenty minutes were invested trying to bing search the floor with this dark colored area with just all of our cellular phones as lightweight and trying to not ever interrupt another concertgoers. When we ultimately discovered all of them, these were covered in dirt, dust and some major club grime. I happened to be carefully disgusted, however since disgusted when I had been as he…wait because of it…then put them back in his lips – club grime as well as!

Yup, that’s all. I am out. Temporary clip in teeth I’m able to deal with (with liquor), but i must draw the range at bad health. Really does he hug their mother with this lips? Ew. Ew. Ew.